i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out
You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.
Okay weirdly this exact situation has happened to me. It was summer so I was sleeping naked, but then I heard the lock on the front door being opened. I thought someone was breaking into my house and I had enough time to either grab my sword or my nightgown, not both.
Two things I learned.
One, sometimes apartment complexes will flat out forget to tell you they’re sending someone over from the fire department to check your fire extinguishers.
Two, no matter how bad ass a person thinks they are, a naked person swinging a sword at them will knock them off balance both physically and mentally.
However, the fireman was very nice about it and accepted my apology.
didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are
I’m 26 and I STILL get 3+ giant pimples everytime my period is about to start like after all this time can’t you find another way of warning me ya bitch
Other Nostril: They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes, drums… drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow lurks in the dark. We can not get out… they are coming.
woman: i miss you like the deserts miss the rain
man: oh that’s so sweet, i–
woman: i’ve adapted to existence without you, buried everything we made together, and prolonged exposure to you would be disastrous.
does anyone else ever have a meltdown in one chat window and a totally normal conversation in another
It’s nice that modern technology allows compartmentalization to become so very literal.
YES
advanced level is when youre having a normal conversation in one app and a breakdown in another and both convos are with the same person
getting up at 6 am by choice: wow what a beautiful sunrise! the house is so peaceful and quiet. i feel really tired but i don’t have to do anything but just sit here and enjoy the morning. what a pleasant feeling
getting up at 6 am because you have to: these covers draped upon my mortal coil have become the dirt above my casket. my corpse refuses to unsettle the earth to rise from its grave. i have been dead for centuries and have no intentions to assimilate once more into the tragic world of the living
persephone's corner 