I’ve been re-reading the HP books and I got to Prisoner of Azkaban (be still my beating heart, it is still the best one) and, at Christmas there’s only 12 people around the dinner table. Trelawny comes along and Dumbledore stands up to draw her a chair.
She freaks out, I must not! When 13 people dine together, the first to rise is the first to die!!!!!
Except.
Ron had Scabbers in his pocket.
Which means that there wasn’t 12 people when Trelawny arrived. There was already 13.
And Dumbledore stood up.
Tag: text
the one thing all of us writers have in common is that none of us are fucking writing
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly – again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
And, of course:
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”
the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.
I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.
Reading: hey it doesn’t matter if the author knows every little detail, they can have some artistic liberties and make things up
Writing: if I don’t find the exact shelf life of the average can of ravioli RIGHT NOW I will DIE
btw the average shelf life of most unopened ravioli cans is 18-24 months
What Fanfic Writers Are Like
Readers: We’d really like an update.
Writers: Yeah me too.
if I’m not sitting in pretty lingerie with a glass of champagne in a foreign place in the next 5 years I’ve failed
Friend: Yeah, I’m not really a book person.
Me with blood shot eyes from crying and lack of sleep, empty wallet from buying books and paying overdue library book fees, aching body from constantly being in an uncomfortable reading position, emotionally drained from reading that heartbreaking scene, overwhelmed from the mountain of books on my TBR: You poor unfortunate soul.
me as a writer: obsessed with being original, constantly worried that ill copy another artist by accident, i can’t use that phrase i saw someone use it on may 12th, 2014 and
me as a reader: happily reads 2349460283 different versions of the exact same plot
I remember when I was young and I wanted to be beautiful; now I’m older and I want to be intelligent. I want to burn hearts with brilliance and engulf souls with compassion. I want to be loved for my thoughts and nothing else.
Ah, the Italians…. I’ll take their gun control advice just like I loved their choice of friends in WW2.
Ah, the Americans… ever the ignorants who know jack shit about history and have no idea that Mussolini was, in fact, a dictator, and that he proclaimed himself Prime Minister in 1922.
We didn’t vote a fascist to rule our country, contrary to what your peeps did in November 2016.
As we don’t keep native Americans still confined in Indian reservations.
As we don’t have sociopaths committing mass murderers in schools.
As we don’t have a problem with police brutality because here white police men don’t feel entitled to shoot on black people just because they’re, well, poc.
As we didn’t cause the most dramatic financial collapse both of the XX and the XXI century, and consequently dragged the rest of the world with us.Darling, I have a degree in Political Science and International Relations. In addition to that, I actually studied history, not only the events related to my country, when I was in school, so I can pretty much roast you at this.
Come back to me after you have looked through some books and actually learnt something.
Have a good day!