The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
it got better
It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like
You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.
‘Severus, he is my cousin.’
And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’
and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’
i wish i could have been alive when gods would regularly come down from the heavens and fuck the brains out of mortals for no reason other than they felt like it
In CoS when they try to sneak into Myrtle’s bathroom to ask her about her death, McGonagall catches them and Harry makes up the excuse that they wanted to see Hermione in the hospital wing and Minnie doesn’t give them detention and then comes this and since we all know Harry’s dumbest excuse, here’s the official suggestion to rate all of Harry’s excuses on a scale from
to
Harry Potter oscillates from 100% effort to coasting on a wave of apathy.
lip gloss– good at arguing, sings a lot when alone, likes attention, gets tired easily, provides good hugs, midnight conversations, really supportive & accepting
eyeliner– chill but gets stressed often, likes writing & drawing, makes a lot of small but dumb mistakes, wants to travel around the world, has underrated humor
blush– spends a lot of money, loves empty cafés, talks too much, cute earrings and pink aesthetics, the psychologist friend, confident but insecure at the same time
chapstick– uses emojis ironically, hella social anxiety, says they’re bad at art but they’re probably not, peach soft drinks, the reasonable friend
mascara– bullet journaling, gets injured a lot, intimidating but is actually soft ™, strawberry milk, screwed up sleep schedule, odd humor
Look, I’ve been ignoring the harry potter epilogue since 2007, i’m gonna do the damn same for the originals’ finale. Klaroline will keep living and so will the fandom, and that’s the only thing i will say about this.
do u ever love someone so much you just don’t know how to describe it but thinking about them just makes you want to explode with love & joy for them & u just wanna hold them tight & never let go bc u just love everything about them & they’re just so great
In Italian we don’t say “You don’t say” or “Captain Obvious”, we say “Grazie al cazzo” which literally means “Thank the dick” and I think it isn’t particularly beautiful but it says a lot about who we are as people.
persephone's corner 