Tag: text post

klarolineforevermine:

list of extra af™ things that Klaus has done for Caroline in the name of last love: 

  • leave an infinity diamond bracelet on her bedside table as a birthday present and discreetly watch her reaction while opening it by standing outside her window
  • invite her to his mother’s ball as his date for the evening and gift her a stunning ballgown to wear to the event
  • lead her away from the dance floor to show her his art and offer to take her anywhere she wants to go: Rome, Paris, Tokyo?
  • threaten to rip out his cheeky little brother’s liver for noticing how attractive Caroline is
  • almost get hit by a car while running after her to try and convince her to give him a chance and get to know him
  • draw numerous sketches of her,  burn them later on to try and get her out of his mind, and then start drawing her again because he’s in too deep
  • hold her close while dancing with her in front of her current bf and tell her that perhaps she’ll be ready in a year or even a century let him show her what the world has to offer
  • sucker a deal out of her to give her one of his precious hybrids in exchange to be her escort and date at the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant, where he can spend time with her in public and in front of everyone
  • somehow get the original copy of her old Miss Mystic Falls application and keep it in his coat pocket so that he could tease her about it later
  • spend the entire night digging 12 graves for the witches she accidentally killed even though he was really mad at her 
  • gift her a gown fit for a queen and allow her bf to come back into town just so she could have the prom night she always dreamed of
  • leave her a voicemail while standing in the middle of one of his favorite cities, and talk about how much he’d love to show it to her one day
  • attend her graduation and vow to be her last love, however long it takes 
  • give her the most sensuous experience of her life for several hours straight in the great outdoors (finally making her dreams of hot hybrid lovin’ come true) 
  • promise to keep her current bf safe at the cost of his own safety because he couldn’t bare the thought of her in pain
  • send her a check for $3 million dollars to fund her school of witchcraft and werewolfry along with a gushy letter reminding her of his eternal promise to her

Swearing in Italian

langsandlit:

Originally posted by 50-shades-of-fuucked-upp

Swearing in Italian is simple, but not quite. Italy has 20 different regions and 101 provinces. That means that swearing may significantly vary from region to region according to each vernacular spoken in each city. For this reason, I’ve paid particular attention in avoiding those swearwords that aren’t commonly used in Standard Italian. Thus words like cazzimma, guallera, latrina, chiavica, madò etc, used, in this case, in my vernacular (Neapolitan) are not listed.

  • cazzo: fuck (literally: dick, cock) – cazzo can be used in combination with chi (who), che (what), dove (where), quando (when), perché (why), e.g. chi cazzo sei tu? (who the fuck are you?); che cazzo fai? (what the fuck are you doing?); dove cazzo vai? (where the fuck are you going?); quando cazzo torni? (when the fuck are you coming back?); perché cazzo non mi rispondi? (why the fuck are you not replying?).
  • cavolo: frick (literally: cauliflower, used instead of cazzo)
  • coglione: arsehole, (lierally: testicle)
  • merda: shit
  • stronzo/a: arsehole (literally: turd)
  • cazzate: bullshit, lies, nonsense
  • cavolate: bullshit, lies, nonsense (from: cavolo)
  • stronzate: bullshit, lies, nonsense (from: stronzo)
  • puttana: slut
  • zoccola:  slut (literally: latrine rat)
  • troia: whore (literally: sow)
  • bastardo: bastard
  • culo: arse
  • porco: pig
    cazzone: wanker, arsehole (literally: big dick)
  • leccaculo: lapdog (literally: arse licker, vulgar variant of leccapiedi, literally: feet licker)
  • oddio: oh God (not really a cuss word, but still a profanity; from: oh dio)
    Madonna: Virgin Mary (same as above)
  • testa di cazzo: dickhead
  • e che cazzo: what the fuck (literally: what the dick)
  • che cazzo ne so: what the fuck do I know
  • figlio di puttana: motherfucker (literally: son of a whore)
  • brutto stronzo: ugly fucker
  • stronzo/puttana/coglione.. etc di merda: shitty arsehole/slut/arsehole
  • vaffanculo: fuck you (literally: go fuck someone in the arse)
  • fottiti: fuck you (from: fottere, to shag, fuck)
  • va’ a farti fottere: go fuck yourself (literally: go let someone fuck you)
  • va’ a cacare: fuck you (literally: go take a shit; from: cacare, to shit)
  • mi stai facendo incazzare: you’re pissing me off (from: incazzarsi, to get pissed off)
  • (mi) hai rotto i coglioni/le palle: you’re being really fucking annoying (literally: you’ve cracked my balls) 
  • porco Giuda: shit (literally: Judas the pig)
  • porca miseria: holy cow, but ruder (literally: pig misery)

warmbun:

me: *wailing dramatically while wandering the halls of my dark mansion in a long black chiffon dressing gown with a black feather trim that trails behind me about a foot over a simple and elegant black silk slip dress, holding a fully lit candelabra and leaving a trail of wax drippings on my hardwood floors*

my spouse: *turns on the hall light* we fucking talked about this

meanie-face:

Don’t date Nice Guys. Date Evil Guys. Date guys who revel in the darkness of the night. Date guys who are monsters and loving it. Date guys who wear their villainy like it’s a fashion statement. Date guys who treat you like a gentleman but are merciless towards enemies. Date guys who come to the party with a melodramatic and terrifying entrance. Date guys who use smoke and mirrors and candlelight to ensnare their victims. Date guys with diabolical master plans about world domination. 

Newt Scamander: Magical creatures? No I haven’t seen any- *trips and ten bowtruckles fall out of sleeve* oh those aren’t mine I’m just holding them for a friend- *frantically tries to pick them up, niffler falls out of back pocket* right, if you’ll just let me explain- *turns around and three murtlaps, a herd of erumpets, one litter of curps and the entirety of New York’s dog pound fall out of his coat* LISTEN-