um?? no offense but when will a monster kidnap me and have me be the first loving touch it ever received like, wtf,,,im right here??? hot hands!!! two of em!!! fulla love!!!!!!!!

fashionably late? more like anxiously early

dropping a chandelier in the middle of an opera because someone sat in my unassigned assigned seat is the level of pettiness i aspire to achieve

ohdionne:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running. you ever seen darth vader run? hell no. and I ain’t about to either.

eearth:

me, thinking about how deeply flawed the modern world is: this shit is bananas *deep sigh* b – a – n – a – n – a – s 😦

the-fault-in-our-wifi:

loki-cat:

same

I’VE BEEN WAITING ALL YEAR

imanes:

me: im bored what should i do

my brain: here’s something productive that u have been procrastinating on doing for literally three mont-

me: haha u wild. anyways only realistic suggestions please