omg – persephone's corner

bellenoel:

bellenoel:

Tumblr when they were removed by Apple from the App Store:

Tumblr “working as quickly as possible to resolve the issue”:

Tumblr on December 18th looking for 60% of their users:

Underrated post

rcktpwr:

tumblr has become CATHOLIC

fluidpuck:

Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,

As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;

But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;

Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.

cozcat:

cedric:

nudityandnerdery:

johnkatier:

dude god could come down from heaven with a million angels and tell me that gif is pronounced “jif” and i still wouldn’t fucking do it

I’d just shrug and say, “Okay, thanks, Jod, I’ll keep that in mind.”

tockthewatchdog:

mattheuphonium:

kim-jong-chill:

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

mikeyjamesk:

me: *doesn’t hear from best friend for a day*

me: omg are we drifting? we’re drifting. I don’t know what is happening in your life. I’m so out of touch. We don’t know each other anymore. What is our friendship?

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear:

shows-up-naked-covered-in-bees:

fluidityandgiggles:

quinintheclouds:

alleenickel:

blue-fluffy-dragon:

zombiebrainsoup:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

the bible but its retold in memes

“if she eat the fruit, she a thot”, the Allmighty said

“all women are queensssss” the serpent hissed into Eve’s ear

HE saw that they had eaten the fruit. and so with divine fury, he cast them out of Paradise as HIS voice thundered across the planes

“This bitch sentient. YEET”

Jesus handed his disciples the cup with wine

“take a sip babes, for this is my blood”

as he cast samael the lightbringer out of heaven, the lord turned to his voice. metatron, this is so sad. play despacito

God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. Then said for all, but Noah and his family, “then perish”

And on the seventh day, God said: “It is Sunday, my dudes.”

And He told His followers about the Promised Land:

Moses commanded the red sea in the name of God, “Move, I’m gay.”

And the Lord spoke to his disciples, “Take, cronch. This is my body, given for you.” Then, lifting the wine, Jesus cracked open a cold one with the boys.

The blind man was made to see by Jesus’ hand, and he looked up in awe. “I’d like to thank not only God but also Jesus.”

The Pharaoh of Egypt would not relent, for he was the sand guardian, guardian of the sand, and the Israelites quivered before him.

Tied up and helpless, Samson’s wig was snatched.

On the third day, Jesus rose again. “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me.”

“PSA: here are the new Commandments, thank you for coming to my TED talk.”

“Um OP literally created the world and everything in it but go off I guess”

Witnessing Jesus walking on water, the disciples were in awe: “Oh, my God — He on x-games mode”

Jesus, bound to the cross, spoke thusly:

David: Bro I had a dream we fucked

Jonathan: Bro it’s just a dream

David: Gay, I wouldn’t fuck you

Jonathan: You wouldn’t?

David: I mean, unless you want to…

I’m pretty sure my soul was just damned to hell I laughed so hard at this I started crying

Snake: listened to

Fruit: eaten

Dick: out

I AM FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN