concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all like “pssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sss” or just petty shit like “haaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannngg”
The snake getting really agitated in second year and Harry like ‘Aw, what’s wrong little friend?’
And snake’s like ‘Nah don’t worry it’s cool, it’s just that big fuck-off snake in the pipes that keeps making you think you’re hearing things—it’s like, ten thousand foot long, and I’m a corn snake, so you know. Bit intimidating.’
Third year he eats Scabbers and saves them all a lot of time
Sigmund Freud: All men secretly REALLY REALLY want to have sex with their mothers
It’s the Oedipus Complex
Oedipus: (Who literally gouged his own eyes out and killed himself when he found out he accidentally had sex with his mother) I’m sorry it’s the WHAT complex
what she means: Ashley. Katchadourian. You were supposed to be watching the door. YOU.
WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THE DOOR. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING
THE DOOR. ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE, ASHLEY
KATCHADOURIAN? THESE ARE A LITTLE GIRL’S ARMS. A LITTLE GIRL WITH
DREAMS, WITH LEGS, WITH A HEAD. SHE’S A PENCIL. SHE’S A SWIZZLE STICK!
YOU CAN USE HER AS A POOL NOODLE! AND NOW I’M HOLDING UP HER ARMS! I’M
HOLDING THEM BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T WATCH THE DOOR. A GIRL LOST HER ARMS,
ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN. A GIRL LOST HER FUCKING ARMS. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT
HAS TRANSPIRED WHILE YOU WERE IN PEARL HARBOR? SEEING A FUCKING
JAPANESE MUSEUM? WE HAD OUR OWN PEARL HARBOR HERE TODAY. OH MY GOD. HOW
COULD YOU DO THIS TO US? YOU LITERALLY BOMBED US! LIKE THE JAPANESE YOU
ARE. AND ME. I’M BEN AFFLECK. I’M BEN AFFLECK, AND I’M HOLDING TWO
FUCKING GIRL’S ARMS. AND YOU’RE CUBA GOODING JUNIOR, DISAPPOINTING
EVERYBODY. LIVE WITH THAT!”
The line “Hey there, Delilah / You be good, and don’t you miss me / Two more years and you’ll be done with school / And I’ll be makin’ history like I do” is an example of the classic erasure of women’s success when compared to men because who’s to say Delilah’s degree won’t come with a groundbreaking piece of research that changes her field forever and mr. plain white tees over is just writing simple chord progressions not discovering new theories of societal advancement. In this essay I will—
Delilah went out and earned her degree and mr. plain white tees had the AUDACITY to say “someday I’ll pay the bills with this guitar.” Delilah honey dump his ass & go make your money.
Not to read into this post too deep but this is an interview with the real ‘Delilah’ in the song where she talks about how she wasn’t actually even dating mr plain white tees guy when the song came out and for a long time the song was a source of discomfort for her.. She also talks about her accomplishments as an athlete in this interview, she’s a rlly talented long distance runner.
persephone's corner 