Tag: nsfw

how good the Austen men would be in bed

actualkierenwalker:

okay it’s Eleanor @queerandgrumpy’s fault that I’ve given this so much consideration but it’s time for official scores

Edward Ferrars
okay so he’d be gentle and sweet and would stroke your face a lot, but sense without sensibility only gets you so far, you know? Edward is the guy you can take home to meet your mum but you don’t feel any particular compulsion to take him to bed. there’d be no passion, and he’d also have no idea what he was doing, but he’d be very nice about it which it why I moved him up from my original 2/10 to a:
3/10

Colonel Brandon
he’s got the brooding and the passion, as well as the intense longing, but on the other hand, he’s on the older side, and not in a sexy way, and he’s so scrupulously moral in a really straightforward way that he probably wouldn’t do anything, well, particularly interesting
5/10

Willoughby (just looked it up and his first name is John?? I refuse to accept that, it never even occurred to me that he would have a first name)
okay so Willoughby is everything Brandon isn’t, sure, that’s the point, and he’d think he was fantastic, but he’s that guy who does no foreplay, finishes after five minutes, falls asleep immediately, and then smirks at you later like he thinks he gave you a really good time
2/10

Fitzwilliam Darcy
okay here’s the thing, Darcy would be really good, but only once. so much repression, so much longing, the single best night of your life, but after that he goes back to being shy and awkward and also he feels really weird about what you did together and it makes him even more awkward than before (yes, even if you marry him)
7/10

Charles Bingley
oh god can you even imagine? there’s nothing hot about that level of earnestness. he has no idea what he’s doing and neither do you if you even consider going to bed with him
2/10

George Wickham
he’s got a bit more game than Willoughby but you can tell how little he respects you and it makes you feel dirty. he’s also probably into some weird shit and gets all defensive and strange if you don’t feel like indulging it
3/10

Mr Collins
I refuse to even picture this
0/10

Colonel Fitzwilliam
he’s reasonably attractive, he’s nice, he’s considerate, he knows what he’s doing, he doesn’t really want to get involved but he still cuddles you and gets you breakfast in the morning
6/10

Edmund Bertram
look, he’s just not hot. it’s impossible to be that into him unless you’re Fanny Price, and you’re not. also you can kind of sense that he’s projected this idealised version of you onto you and it’s weird. all of it’s weird. you tell your best friend about it and she asks how it was and you say “it was weird”
1/10

Henry Crawford
I mean we know he’s good, right? he’s “leave your obscenely rich husband” good. I didn’t want to get too detailed and specific on this post, but Henry Crawford gives you like a solid hour of oral before anything else happens, and he does that every time, not just the first time when he’s trying to impress you. but he’s such a shit human being that you feel kind of torn a lot of the time, and also you didn’t sign up for a threesome but his ego is a substantial third presence in the room and you’re kind of tired of having to stroke it
8/10

Mr Rushworth
I refuse, and so does Maria
0/10

George Knightley (yes, his name is George, it surprises me every time too)
god, okay, Mr Knightley, he’s that older man, the one who only really exists in your fantasies; he knows what he wants, he knows what you want, he’s not even doing the whole repressed longing thing for most of his life, it just genuinely doesn’t bother him that he’s not banging anyone and he only wants to do that with someone he cares about, so if he takes you to bed he really, really cares about you and he wants to make this good for you, he wants to make this so good for you and he’s going to make sure he does as though your sexual satisfaction is the single greatest goal of his life
10/10

Frank Churchill
he should be good, right? you thought he was going to be so good, and you can’t even put your finger on anything specific that wasn’t good, but man, it wasn’t good. I mean it wasn’t bad, either, it was just… really, really average. but it seems worse than average because you had big expectations
5/10

Elton (his first name is Philip? I never knew this until now and I refuse to acknowledge it)
I also refuse to acknowledge that Elton and sex could have anything to do with each other
0/10

John Knightley
I know, no one else has thought about this, no one else cares, this one is just for me. John Knightley, the lesser known Knightley, he’s that guy who would be kind of hot if he only dressed better and wasn’t such a dick, you’ve never really talked to him but then at a party you end up sitting together and you realise that you hate all the same people and at some point you end up making out in a corner and then sneaking into a bedroom and just going for it and it’s not the greatest thing ever but it’s better than that shit party you’re at and he makes you laugh a lot while it’s happening and you never really hang out again but sometimes he catches your eye and winks at you
8/10

Henry Tilney
okay so he may be a clergyman but this guy knows things, he’s read some scandalous novels, and has a scandalous older brother who probably never shuts up about his exploits: Henry Tilney knows things. how good would he be in application though? everything he does will be pretty okay, but he’s not hot enough or suave enough to make it really amazing. he’s definitely a good time AND he’s a guy you can take home to your mum, but he lacks that extra level of sex appeal that you get from someone like

George Knightley or Henry Crawford
7/10

John Thorpe
fuck that guy. by which I mean, do not, under any circumstances, fuck that guy
0/10

Frederick Tilney
okay so he’s hot, and he probably knows a thing or two, but he’s too fundamentally selfish to care. he is entirely focused on his own pleasure, and he even knows that he could make it better for you, he just doesn’t give a shit. but like, he kind of makes you feel like you’re into that?
3/10

William Elliot
you have an advantage over Anne Elliot here in that he’s not your cousin, but like with Anne he’s still totally just using you. he’s real charming though, and this boy has gotten around and knows exactly what he’s doing. he’d be a really good time if you couldn’t tell he was already figuring out who he wants to sleep with after you
6/10

Captain Frederick Wentworth
jesus, okay, here we go, I just got all flustered just thinking about this. you’ve never seen so much repressed longing in one place and it doesn’t even matter if you’re not the one he’s longing for, he’s still going to pour so much pent up angst and lust into every movement that he’ll be the best thing you’ve ever had. he’s considerate and sensitive too though, he looks at you the whole time, directly at you, and holds your face in his hands when he kisses you, and he directs you so, so gently and holds you to him like you’re precious and fragile, even when he’s throwing everything into it in a way that leaves you literally breathless. you feel things you didn’t know could be felt, emotionally and physically. you think it’s over and he smiles knowingly at you and says “ready to go again?” when you’re falling asleep he pulls you closer to him and whispers that you’re beautiful. you’ve never felt as safe as you do in his arms, and even though you’re exhausted now you know you’re going to do it all over again in the morning and probably into the afternoon
I can’t even give him a numerical score, whatever scoring system you’re using he’s better than the highest possible score

I absolutely love your headcannons, so could you possibly do some of the RFA members ( + V and saeran) on how they would kiss the s/o’s neck? ( I love you ♡♡♡)

guacameowle:

Thanks, bird! I appreciate the kind words! xx

Meowle MysMe Headcanons

Jumin

  • He’d always have at least one hand touching your neck somehow – holding the back of it, fingers trailing down the side to watch as gooseflesh prickled, thumb angling your head just so to give him the space he wanted.
  • He’d breathe along your skin first, letting his lips ghost across your neck so teasingly without actually kissing you.
  • The first kiss would be right over your pulse where he’d linger to feel your heartbeat increase against his lips.
  • You’d be able to feel him smile against your neck – he was so smug he had such a reaction from you when he hardly even kissed you yet.
  • He’d use teeth more than tongue – nip along your jaw, small pinches down your neck before soothing with a quick swipe of his tongue.
  • The pressure & intensity of his kisses would increase until his open lips were falling on your skin.
  • When he was through with teasing his kisses would be bruising, punishing, & hungry – he takes pride in the blemishes he leaves on your skin, offering each of them a lick & kiss once he’s finished making them.
  • He’d leave numerous love bites along the column of your neck, having no shame that some were high enough you couldn’t cover with the collar of your shirts.

Saeyoung

  • Going to hold your head in place so he can have access to the full column of your throat. 
  • It may start off with just a soft press of his lips, but he’s quick to get teeth and tongue involved. 
  • He deliberately breathes across your neck & smiles when he notices you shiver or when goosebumps prickle across your skin. 
  • There’s a method to kissing, he follows a patten when working his way down your neck, starting just below your ear and tracing his way down the path of your jugular to your collar bone to leave a bite. He repeats this along the other side as well.
  • It’s slow & teasing, he wants you to anticipate his next move & be impatient for it.
  • Likes when you moan & he can feel it vibrate through his lips.
  • Presses his fingers to your pulse to feel it race. Knows which actions of his will increase & decrease your heart rate.
  • Enjoys marking. Will leave a blemish & sit back for a moment to watch it come to full bloom.
  • Will run his nose along your neck to breath in your scent as he’s kissing you.
  • Has days where he is content to just bury his face in your neck & leave little pecks here & there as he relaxes.

Zen

  • Most of the time you never expect when he’s actually going to kiss your neck. It’s often a surprise – randomly when he walks by & sweeps your hair back to give one or two kisses, when he leaves in the morning if you’re still asleep, while he’s just sitting next to you & leans over to drop a kiss before going back to whatever he was previously doing.
  • Usually starts off with taking your breath away with a full-on kiss then peppering kisses in a trail across your cheek, down your jaw & lower onto your neck.
  • Licks at all of his favorite spots – the hollow of your throat, just below your ears, along your pulse point, where you neck/shoulder meet.
  • Doesn’t stay in one place for too long, paying homage to multiple areas.
  • Breathes against you heavily to feel you shiver.
  • Will moan against your neck as he kisses you.
  • Not so heavy on the use of his teeth, but when he settles in his kisses along your neck are desperate & hot as if he can’t get enough of the way you taste.
  • Leaves a love bite then pulls back to admire his handiwork before diving for the next spot to leave more.
  • He’s more into kissing your neck than you may be into him kissing your neck if that’s even possible.

Yoosung

  • Starts off under the guise of nuzzling into your neck & breathing against you, holding you close & cuddling.
  • He’ll gently press his lips against you or open & close them to see if you react positively.
  • He’s just so eager & once you don’t stop him he dives in – he’s everywhere!
  • His kisses are wet, noisy, & numerous.  
  • He’s all tongue & delicious suction that leaves you squirming for more.
  • He moans & whimpers while kissing along your neck.
  • When he hones in on one spot, he sucks hard & holds you closer to him as if he’s literally trying to drink you in.
  • Will lick up the full column of your neck numerous times as if you’re his favorite delicious treat.
  • He switches up his types of kisses often – short fast pecks, lingering innocent pecks, long open-mouthed suction, teasing licks & nips.
  • Loves seeing the bloom of love bites along your skin so much that he’ll be tugging on the hem of your clothing to try to move & kiss lower.
  • Gets so into kissing your neck, he’s panting just as much as you are.
  • He makes cute slurping & sucking noises when he moves from one spot to the other.
  • His lips will be slick & swollen when he’s through.

Jaehee

  • Slow & sensual is her game.
  • Her fingertips will tease & brush across the nape of your neck or brush your hair behind your ears.
  • Has you tilt your head back for her as she deposits soft plush kisses along one side of your neck.
  • She’ll whisper in your ear after every series of kisses.
  • Takes special care to pay attention the areas she knows makes you shiver & writhe the most.
  • She’s very good at dropping a kiss & dragging her lips across your skin to the next area she’ll pay attention to – her lips hardly ever pull away entirely from your skin once she gets started & in a groove.
  • Will hum against you in approval of your reactions to her ministrations or in appreciation or how you taste.
  • Uses her tongue to create little swirls & patterns along your skin.
  • Loves to lightly drag her teeth down the column of your throat before nipping.
  • The love bites she leaves are more discreet & small, but numerous & trickle down to your collar bones.
  • She’ll tease you, kissing up your neck, dropping a peck onto your lips & when you’re expecting more she’ll drop back down to your neck instead of kissing you properly.

hxdeharia:

mothwizard:

me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet

sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD

Why did I laugh so much

Here are my Belle/Adam NSFW headcanons that literally no one asked for

dereksprettyboy:

Because we all know the only road I walk is the one of Sin™

• Belle may have laughed when Adam growled during their dance, but inside a shot of arousal surged through her body that left a heavy and needy ache between her legs. The ache only worsened when Adam brushed his lips against the shell of her ear after their dance ended, his warm sweet breath ghosting across her neck as he whispered, “now, would you prefer scruff or something longer?”

• Turns out Belle prefers scruff, and the way it scratches against the soft skin of her inner thighs while Adam goes down on her. She also relishes the way it burns when her thighs rub together as she walks, a gentle smile quirking her lips up in a quiet, indecent secrecy. And Adam knows that smile, adores that smile, returning it with a wink and– if Belle is close enough– a low, suggestive rumble in his throat that awakens a beautiful shade of pink on her cheeks.

• Until their wedding night, their sexual endeavors never exceeded third base. So when the time comes and Adam can finally HAVE Belle, he makes the sweetest, most passionate love to her; all languid thrusts, soft whispers, deep breathing, quivering lips, and trembling limbs.

• The second time Adam takes Belle that night results in torn pillows, dark purple bruises, and indentations in the wall from its repetitive collision with the headboard.

• And speaking of the headboard, there were definitely deep scratch marks engrained in the wood from their ardent lovemaking. When Belle notices them the morning after, she never lets Adam live it down, and later that week she has to bite her lip to keep from laughing when Adam sheepishly informs the staff that the headboard needs to be replaced.

• Teasing aside, Belle loves Adam’s animalistic nature in bed more than she’d like to admit. She revels in the feel of his teeth teasing and nibbling when he trails his mouth along her collarbone, marking her– claiming her– with deep red love bites. She adores the way he buries his face in her neck when he fucks her, the way his hot breath dampens the skin of her throat with his labored breathing. She takes delight in his wild eyes, with blown pupils and filled with something so unabashed, raking over her body and glimmering with indecency. But nothing gets to her more than those low, guttural sounds Adam makes when he’s aroused, almost always involuntary and instinctive, like when Belle bites his lip or when her tongue laps over the smooth head of his cock. Her absolute favorite is when he growls deep in his throat while he’s eating her out, the sound rippling up from her center and hardening her nipples, arching her back, and making her head thrash against the pillow.

• Adam likes to play a game where he mouths at Belle’s neck, dances his fingers softly over her wrists, and murmurs suggestive words in her ear to see how long it takes for him to get her turned on enough to abandon whatever book she’s reading and give in to his sexual efforts. One time he got so far as to literally being inside of her until her book finally fell to the floor and she let Adam take her on the library table.

• They literally have sex all over the castle, and as much as the staff wants to complain, they can’t bring themselves to since they know Adam was basically celibate for over a decade. A lot of pent up desire, y’know? So nothing can really stop him when he bends Belle over the dinner table after watching her lick sauce off her finger, his owns fingers cushioned between her soft lips as he takes her so hard that dishes clatter to the floor.

• Also, he literally died for a brief moment in time. So who can blame the man for completely ravishing his wife at every moment he can when he thought he lost her forever?

• A concept: THRONE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

• Belle straddling Adam in his royal chair and riding him into oblivion, their sounds of pleasure echoing off the walls of the large room. Bonus points if Adam is wearing some sort of coronet.

pwp aus because wth not (NSFW)

clairelutra:

  • “i’m a rockstar and you’re a fan who snuck in and do you maybe wanna help me ‘blow off some steam’ back stage because ur A) really hot and B) pretty obviously willing“ au
  • “seven minutes in heaven with my longtime crush but we get locked in for hours bc our friends forgot about us” au
  • “got locked in a walk-in refrigerator/freezer and now we gotta keep warm somehow” au
  • “you’re a vampire with an aphrodisiac bite and i’m the drunk party-goer you decided to snack on tonight” au
  • “you’re really invested in your tv show/book/etc and i don’t think you understand how much your absentminded petting is getting to me but like hell am i gonna ask you to stop“ au
  • “this is an sos from a helpless virgin (who doesn’t want to be a virgin anymore) to you, the most virile person i know. please teach me how all this works” au
  • “i thought you were literally the most innocent thing to ever exist but then you awkwardly ask me to teach you how to bang like a pro and holy hell what the fuck but now i’m really, really turned on” au
  • “i get that it’s hotter than satans asshole out here but if you remove any more clothing i won’t be responsible for my actions-wait. why are you smirking at me?” au
  • “i chickened out of sex ages ago and you haven’t brought it up since but now i really want it, but i’m terrible at communication, so let me just strip shirtless/model lingerie for you until you snap” au
  • “we were forced to hide in this very cramped space (from friends/authority figures/people trying to kill us) and this is a very awkward position to be stuck in with someone you’re avoiding because they’re too attractive for you to deal with” au
  • “normally we duke it out to vent our frustrations but this time someone initiated a kiss in the middle of the fight and suddenly we’re fucking against the nearest flat surface” au
  • “when i asked you to put sunscreen/lotion on my back that’s all i wanted you to do, but your hands are like magic and they have my full permission to wander” au