if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious
13 years ago today, Pepsi’s Super Bowl commercial starring Beyoncé, BritneySpears, Pink & Enrique Iglesias was premiered. #PepsiGladiators
Damn these were simpler times
so lemme break this down
-lord caesar iglesias, who does not sing in this musical commercial, has captured britney spears, pink, and beyonce to battle it out gladiator style -our trio decides instead of fighting, they will instead rock so hard that the audience forgets about their battle to the death -their musical prowess is so damn powerful they rock the foundation of the earth and overthrow caesar iglesias along with his stash of ancient roman pepsi -beyonce, britney spears, and pink drink pepsi while the audience cheers -enrique iglesias is eaten by a lion
I still say the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter was that there wasn’t a scene where Hermione found 16 year old Harry in a shopping cart on top of the Astronomy Tower while 16 year old Ron stood by with Colin’s camera because if the prophecy says that he has to die via Voldemort then that means nothing else can kill him ergo there’s no way this could possibly go wrong…
severus in the slytherin common room after calling an assembly: ok level with me, which one of you fucks opened the chamber of secrets? i promise i won’t get mad.
Carlisle: Hey this is my family, we live in a glass house. I’m the oldest and a man so I’m in charge. The oldest woman is my wife and she hasn’t spoken in 16 years and we’re not even sure some days whether shes alive or not. My most conservative son will always be in your head and my son least in control of his actions is a confederate soldier. One of my daughters can see the future and also will be aggressively in your space despite your numerous objections and the other one is…pretty I guess? And also angry? Her husband is the prettiest boy, but thats all they have in common. We only eat animal blood, we feel guilty all the time because we’re all pretty sure we’re going to hell….oh! Also everyone younger than me has to go to high school. Once you’re done with high school you just enroll into another one, again and again. Anyway….welcome to my home and welcome to your forever.
Me: fuckin leaves
packs up all my stuff and takes some of Edward music collection.
“You know i really gotta get going. Awesome meeting all of you. you make Italy look great this time of year.”
runs away !
“She is never coming back.” Edward sighes
Me, a brand new vamp: arrives at the gates of volterra
Aro: Hey I’m Aro. I’m the figurehead of the largest vampire coven in the world. On paper our purpose is to uphold laws but actually we just visit other vampires and cause a scene when we hear that they’ve been talking smack about us. I’m 3000 years old, I killed my sister, and I’m secretly/ very obviously in love with Carlisle cullen. My angriest coven-mate can make people feel excruciating pain with her mind and my strongest coven-mate doesn’t have any real power but we’re keeping him around until we can find someone hotter to take his place. The first thing we need to do is get you fitted for a black cloak that we all wear because we love drama and pageantry. Welcome to Volterra, and welcome to your forever.
persephone's corner 