What if there were women’s cleanliness products that were marketed the way Old Spice stuff is? Like they had names like “Lioness” and “Sycamore” and “Wildfire” and “Hunter’s Moon” and they were touted as making you smell like a warrior queen who does not suffer fools and conquers all she beholds
HELLO LADIES
have you felt the primal call of the unmerciful sea calling you to strike down those who would defy you? no? well if you stopped using overpriced flower-scented body wash and switched to SEA HAG, you might.
look down.
back up. where are you? you’re a siren, bare-breasted and shrieking as you lure the unwary to their doom on the rocks below. and you smell amazing.
what’s in your hand? back at me. it’s a vial of skin-nourishing ingredients, derived from the seaweed you used to strangle a hated foe. it does wonders for your skin tone and resilience, and we all can agree that we will need that resilience in the coming war.
look again: the seaweed is now a formal apology from the last man who unnecessarily tried to explain something to you.
anything is possible when you smell like a vengeful sea witch and embrace your own rage. i’m on a narwhal.
Friend: Why does Venom always go down on women in fics? I mean, the symbiote’s an alien. Why would he be into that?
Me: Phenethylamine, the hormone which Venom needs to survive, is produced by the bacteria lactobacillus. Which is one of the main components of the vaginal microbiota.
Friend: You can’t be serious.
Me: So Venom going down makes a lot of sense.
Friend: Why are we friends.
y’all ever see a sibling interaction in media and just know….it was written by an only child
It’s weird when sibilings apologize in the movies. Because sibilings only apologize when they did something really really bad, like murder someone or something, otherwise the sibilings just casually start to talk to each other as if nothing had happened.
Siblings in a movie making up: I’m so sorry I hurt you…you’re not only my sister, you’re my best friend.
Siblings in real life making up: Lmao idk if you’re still mad bitch but look at this meme really quick.
I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.
It doesn’t matter how terrifying or monstrous or deadly you make your eldritch monster, there’s gonna be a person who hauls themselves out of the sewers to tell you that they will personally fuck it.
This post has so many notes and it’s mostly people calling out their friends for being sewer-dwelling awful cryptid fuckers and I love it. Expose them.
persephone's corner 