On my dashboard appeared a tshirt with the writing ‘no use being the richest c*nt in the cemetery’ and while I sort of agree with the sentiment (not necessarily with the language) it reminded me of this story Timorpanico (Chiara, let me know if I made any mistake) told me a while back.
so, little intro: People from Genoa are famously stereotyped around Italy for being most… parsimonious. (I’m not sure the degree of accurateness this is because everyone I know from genoa jokes about it a lot and most of the stories they tend to tell me reinforce those stereotypes. This is another story like that.)
Ok so, there was this lady, Caterina Campodonico, in Genova at the end of 1800, she had a really hard life, she used to sell hazelnuts on the street and lived almost like a homeless woman, with little money to spare.
Except she wasn’t poor. All the money she earned from selling hazelnuts in the streets of genoa she kept away living with almost nothing. In the long years she amounted a fortune.
Absolutely spiteful of all her family who just waited for her death to have all her money she called the greatest sculptor there was in those years in genoa and commissioned a wonderful statue of herself, as her gravestone in the Cemetery of Staglieno using all her money.
So yeah, she turned into a role model for the whole city. Being one of the most famous figures in genoa.
And you should all be inspired by this woman with all her bitterness telling her odious family to go fuck off with a wonderful marble statue of herself.
Yo, no use being the richest c*nt in the cemetery but THE SATISFACTION.
This is THE MOST GENOVESE THING I HAVE EVER READ. miss u stingy fucks
ship’s computer crashes due to virus acquired during a porn download from a lower decks ensign
firmware update was pushed out to the fleet, has vital error in the clock program that causes every computer to repeat 2300. translators have to explain to the enemy why everyone is an hour late to peace talks.
unintelligble message is sent out into the void because someone’s pet cat walked across their keyboard. message is interpreted as a marriage proposal.
universal translators break, everyone is reduced to hand gestures
viewscreen has dead pixels in the upper left corner, drives the captain a bit bonkers
space gps tells us to take a right where we should take a left. plucky recent academy grad on the graveyard shift realizes that this would take us into the sun and makes the course correction. ship’s computer advises her for two hours to make a u-turn when it is safe to do so
“siri, how do I land a space ship” is heard over the ship speaker system.
persephone's corner 