astrosoeur:

Aries: The Greek philosopher Diogenes was once captured by pirates and sold into slavery. The slave merchant
asked Diogenes what trade he could be sold into (like a carpenter,
scribe, etc.). Diogenes said his only skill was leading men, and said
that he should be sold to a man who needed a master.

Taurus: In 207 BC, Greek Stoic philosopher Chrysippus died of laughter while watching his drunk donkey eat figs.

Gemini: In the midst of an impassioned debate on the Senate floor, a page
delivers a private message to young Julius Caesar. His opponent, Cato,
demands the letter be read aloud. Caesar initially refused, but after
much pestering, showed the rival senator the note. It was a love letter
from Cato’s half sister.

Cancer: The Roman Emperor
Caligula made his favorite horse Senator and gave it voting rights. The horse was named Incitatus and had a whole stable in
marble complete with furniture and a staff
of servants.

Leo: When Alexander the Great was in Corinth, all the great men
of the
city came to pay him tribute. When he didn’t see Diogenes among them, he
went out to find him, and met the philosopher sun bathing next to
the barrel he lived in. Alexander, conqueror of half the known world,
greeted him and asked if there was anything he could do as a favor to
the famous thinker. Diogenes answered, “Yes, move over a little. You’re
standing in my sun.”

Virgo: Maria Fedorovna, Empress of Russia and wife of Tsar Alexander III, was
known for her charitable works. In fact, she once saved a condemned man
from exile in Siberia by changing a single comma in the warrant signed
by her husband. Instead of reading: “Pardon impossible, to be sent to
Siberia,” she changed the document to read: “Pardon, impossible to be
sent to Siberia.” The man was thus saved and released.

Libra:  The Greek tragedian Aeschylus was killed when an eagle dropped a turtle
on his head, after mistaking it for a rock on which to crack open the
shell.

Scorpio: Pope Stephen VI didn’t like his predecessor, Pope Formosus, and therefore ordered his remains to be dug up and put on trial. At the infamous “Cadaver Synod”
of 897, Pope Stephen VI cross-examined the corpse, declared it guilty,
and had it mutilated and thrown in the Tiber River as punishment.

Sagittarius: Hippocleides of Athens got so drunk at a betrothal dinner party he
jumped on the dinner table and started dancing like a madman. His
prospective father-in-law Cleisthenes of Sicyon told him “Oh son of
Tysander, you have just danced away your marriage.” Hippocleides
responded with “Hippocleides doesn’t care”

Capricorn: The Persian king Xerxes sentenced the sea to 300 lashes for destroying two of his army’s bridges.

Aquarius: Virginia Woolf and her writer friends successfully tricked the Royal Navy into showing them their flagship, the battleship HMS Dreadnought, by pretending to be Abyssinian princes, dressing up with fake beards, skin darkeners and turbans. (Here’s a picture, Virginia to the far left)

Pisces: In 1518, a “dancing plague”
struck Strasbourg, Alsace, whereby hundreds of people danced fervently
in the streets over the period of a month. There was no music nor any apparent reason behind it. Some suffered heart attacks
or strokes, and many others died from sheer exhaustion.