after all that talk about Italian anime openings and 3000+ notes I have to inform you that the woman who sung 95% of Italian anime openings from late 80s until early 00s has released a new album today
of duets
with famous Italian singers
and yeah they’re singing the best of Italian anime openings
The most magical Italian word that Italians miss when they study a foreign language is “boh”. It’s not even a proper word but every single Italian says it to mean “I don’t know”.
While sailing in the Mediterranean sea, in 1962, the American aircraft carrier USS Independence (CV-62) flashed the Italian Amerigo Vespucci with light signal asking «Who are you?», the full rigged ship answered «Training ship Amerigo Vespucci, Italian Navy». The US ship replied «You are the most beautiful ship in the world».
they’re expensive but lucrative. tptb invest way more on tv shows (here called “fictions”) than on movies, but they’re never disappointed. especially if they’re period dramas, they’ll look lavish and rarely flop.
they’re averagely bad. conceived for audiences that are either uneducated or presumed to be so, they usually feature cringe-worthy plots and dialogue. when they happen to be good, the press will go in shock and never recover.
they take forever to be made. you liked your show? if you’re lucky you’ll see it again in two years and you probably won’t know it until its production kicks. i’m not sure why it can take that long, but it probably has to do with bureaucracy and negotiations with the cast
they also last forever. if they do well, nothing will stop them. the protagonist wants out? they’ll do a next generation. recasting needed? sure. but that character was the doctor mentioned in the title?? they’ll get another doctor, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down……..
their main theme is always the same. “fictions” usually centre around families (the bigger, the better), doctors, priests/nuns and mysteries or families of doctors and priests/nuns involved in mysteries. berlusconi-owned canale 5 sometimes varies with harlequin-style pseudo-crime stories where ridiculously handsome actors alternatively have sex and shoot people for hours. old-fashioned values such as love, family and tradition will always prevail.
they’re so bad there was a show about how bad they are. the little gem that is fox-produced boris was a sit com about a cast and crew at work on one of these ‘families of doctors involved in mysteries’ shows. it highlighted all the dirt behind it, including corrupt and politically influenced producers, lazy screenwriters, bad actors and an iconic deeply frustrated director.
no young italian will admit to watching any. usually because they actually don’t, but even when they do they’ll pretend otherwise. because network audience is old and (as mentioned) assumed to be poorly educated, they’ll gravitate towards cable and/or foreign shows or watch nothing at all instead. still, if they’re actually tuning in they won’t want to be told they like garbage.
episodes are long. a primetime show will air from about 9:30pm to about 11pm. this means we either get movie-long episodes (the montalbano mysteries) or two eps per week, in any case we’ll watch almost two hours of our shows in one night.
actual italians don’t speak like that. while the italian network tv sometimes allows swearing, the characters will still talk in a painfully unlikely way. they have no accent unless they function as comic relief and their lines will often be emphatic or heavy with pointless exposition. in the past few years they also began to sound like they were translated from english, which they probably were if the screenwriters watch too many foreign shows and just swallow everything. an example would be the expression “sono così eccitat*”, literal translation of “i’m so excited” that almost dosn’t exist in everyday italian unless you’re a porn star or something. actor pietro sermonti once called this weird language italiese. on the bright side, cable shows luckily avoid this garbage; but they still tend to only do it when the specific regional variation is something of a plot point (neapolitan/roman crime will be involved and so on).
the times, they are a-changin’. younger screenwriters are now working and some changes are being made. a few shows from the past years are or have been actually pretty good, although most people won’t admit it due to the cultural stigma attached to rai or, in rare cases, mediaset. still, even the oldest church-going audiences are getting acquainted with librated women, lgbt couples and morally gray characters. i guess we’ll see where that goes.
(or, a random list of italian expressions that i felt like sharing with the world)
“Se son rose fioriranno.” (literally, “If it’s roses, they will bloom.”) It’s usually used to calm down someone (or even oneself) who’s anxious about a certain situation (for instance going on a date), and it means that if something is bound to happen, it will, and hence that there’s no use being nervous.
“Non s’ha da fare.” It means “it’s not to be done”/“it’s not to happen”. Although this construct is strictly typical of the Florentine dialect, this fixed expression has become widely used in the Italian language after one of the most famous scenes in Alessandro Manzoni’s I Promessi Sposi (The Betrothed), in the line “Questo matrimonio non s’ha da fare, né domani, né mai.” (“This wedding is not to be celebrated, not tomorrow, nor ever.”)
“Hai scoperto l’acqua calda.” (literally “You have discovered hot water.”) Used to ironise about someone’s obvious remark by calling it a revolutionary discovery.
“Morto un papa, se ne fa un altro.” (literally, “Once a pope dies, another one is elected.”) It’s usually used after the end of a relationship and it means that once you lose a lover, you just find another one. It can also be used in other situations with an equivalent meaning.
“Una volta ogni morte di papa.” It literally means “Once every pope’s death” and it’s used as an informal synonym for “very rarely”. (e.g. “Mi ammalo una volta ogni morte di papa.” -> “I get sick very rarely.”)
“La mamma è sempre la mamma.” It means “Mum will always be mum.” and it’s just an expression to state how your mum will always be there for you and will always be your home.
“Che pizza!” It literally translates “What a pizza!” but it has the same meaning as the English “Nuts!” (e.g. “Piove.” “Che pizza!” -> “It’s raining.” “Nuts!”). In the same way, the word “pizza” can be used as an adjective to describe an annoyingly boring person (e.g. “Sei una pizza, non vuoi mai fare nulla.” -> “You’re so boring, you never want to do anything”).
Italian comes from Latin and nowadays in the Italian language there are still phrases and idioms that come from Latin and that are widely used, either in their original Latin form or in their modern translation.
Ad litteram – Alla lettera: to the letter. Generally heard in the Italian form.
Alea iacta est – Il dado è tratto: the die is cast, the famous phrase attributed to Caesar while crossing the Rubicone river and declaring war to the senate. We generally use the translation, but the original form is just as famous.
Alma mater – Madre che nutre: nurturing mother. Many universities in Italy are called Alma Mater, the most famous of which is the University of Bologna, called Alma Mater Studiorum
Carthago delenda est – Cartagine dev’essere distrutta: Carthage must be destroyed.
Cum grano salis – Con un grano di sale: with a grain of salt, Pliny the Elder, both versions are used
Cui prodest? – A chi giova?: who benefits from it?, Seneca. Both versions are used, but I’d say that the Latin form is more used, for example in detective stories
Do ut des – Do perché tu mi dia: I give to you so that you give to me. The Italian translation is generally never used.
Dura lex sed lex – Dura è la legge, ma è la legge: The law is hard/strict, but it’s the law
Horror vacui – Orrore del vuoto: the horror of the void. Not widely used, but commonly known
In medias res – Nel mezzo delle cose: in the middle of things, used to talk about books that start in the middle of the story
In medio stat virtus – La virtù sta in mezzo (a due cose): virtue stands in between (two things), an invitation to moderation
In vino veritas – Nel vino la verità: in the wine, there is truth. Funny answer recently added: “in vino veritas e in scarpe adidas” (in vino veritas and in shoes adidas)
Labor limae – Lavoro di lima: smoothing out the details (lit. work of file), Horace. Both forms are known
Lapsus linguae – Un errore della lingua: a mistake of the language/tongue. Generally used only in the form of “lapsus”, word that has entered the Italian dictionary
Non plus ultra: ultimate/top object. The phrase has entered the Italian vocabulary as it is.
Pecunia non olet – Il denaro non puzza: money doesn’t stink. Generally, the Latin form is used
Sic semper tyrannis – Così sempre ai tiranni: lit. as always to the tyrants, the phrase usually attributed to Brutus after stabbing Ceasar.
Sic transit gloria mundi – Così passa la gloria del mondo: this way passes the glory of the world.
Tu quoque Brute, fili mi – Anche Tu Bruto, Figlio mio: Et tu Brute. In the English-speaking world, “Et tu Brute” is more used because it was used by Shakespeare in Julius Caesar. In Italy, on the other hand, we use “Tu quoque(..)”
Vox populi vox dei – Voce del popolo, voce di Dio: voice of the people, voice of God. Usually used only as “vox populi”
I’m sure I forgot to add plenty of phrases but there are literally hundreds of these that are either famous and known or even used in everyday life.
Italian trains are so paradoxical that my train was late but I got to university earlier
Trenitalia aesthetic:
– they announce a delay but then the train arrives exactly at the same hour as usual
– they do not announce a delay but the train arrives ten minutes later than usual
– Ticket inspectors who exist only for the first two days of the month and then magically disappear
– the announcer’s voice that becomes shrill by saying that one random word of the phrase, terrifying you, and than returns normal
-friendships born due to the disperation / anger at the announcement of the (umpteenth) delay
– the Angry Nostalgic Old Man ™ that “wHE the DuCE waS hEre The TRains Were PunctUAL”
– but the rest of the station is super calm bc they are blatantly used to delays
-first and second class interchangeable
– “how this window is supposed to work”
– the announcer that “the train will arrive with 30 minutes of delay” and then “no wait 25″ “40″ “15″ “100″ “60″ “120″ “the train is cancelleD”
– “we are sorry for the inconvenience”
trenitalia gothic
– a train arrives. it’s 90 years late. you notice that the passengers inside are ghosts of people who lived in the 1920s, listening to jazz music
– you are not sure this train stop existed before
– you are not sure this railroad existed before
– you were sure that a train had to stop at the station by this time but it disappeared
– why is the train stopping in the middle of nowhere?
– passengers in your wagon are now starting to open the train windows. it’s really hot inside. a kind of anxiety lingers in the air: no one knows exactly where we are and what time it is
– suddenly the air is chilly again. oh no, everyone is freezing. everyone rushes to close the windows
– as the mysterious staff members are announcing that you are currently approaching the end station, you notice that you haven’t actually moved at all from your first station. looks like a circular journey, but staring out of the window you can see something odd, the place anyhow doesn’t look familiar anymore…
persephone's corner 