i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out
You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.
Okay weirdly this exact situation has happened to me. It was summer so I was sleeping naked, but then I heard the lock on the front door being opened. I thought someone was breaking into my house and I had enough time to either grab my sword or my nightgown, not both.
Two things I learned.
One, sometimes apartment complexes will flat out forget to tell you they’re sending someone over from the fire department to check your fire extinguishers.
Two, no matter how bad ass a person thinks they are, a naked person swinging a sword at them will knock them off balance both physically and mentally.
However, the fireman was very nice about it and accepted my apology.
didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are
The shorter one getting on their tiptoes to kiss the other
The taller one bending down to kiss them
The taller one making themselves smaller so they could hug the other person
The smaller person insisting that they can reach something really high while the taller person sits back and smiles while they stretch to reach the thing
the taller person giving piggyback rides.
The shorter person giving piggyback rides
THE SHORTER ONE’S FACE GOING INTO THE OTHER’S CHEST WHEN THEY HUG
is forced cohabitation a kink? bc at this point I will literally read any beauty & the beast au, any hades/persephone retelling, any “we have to pretend we’re in a relationship but whoops we’re actually interested in each other” au.
like dammit I will accept the flimsiest excuse for two people to have to share a bed. the author could just be like “idk all the other beds burned down or something idgaf” and I’d accept it, no questions asked. like “cool whatever let’s get to the part where they wake up spooning and then they’re awkward cause this couldn’t possibly mEAN anything but after a big misunderstanding they learn how the other one feels and there’s a big romantic confession and then they do the sex ;;;;)))”
Nothing to see here, just a street corner in New Orleans…..
This is The Violin Monster and he’s really cool. You should all look him up on Facebook. He’s the most talented violinist I have ever met, and he’s super sweet and friendly. He also teaches violin to kids. His back story is he’s a 400+ year old werewolf from Galway, Ireland who plays violin to quell his hunger for human flesh. I forget the details of how he became a werewolf, but I think it had something to do with a deal he made with a witch.
Story time: so one day I actually had spending money, so for funsies I kept putting money in his jack-o-lantern (that’s what his tip bucket is) requesting Scotch-Irish folk songs, and he didn’t just play every song he PLAYED them like he was in a music battle with the Faery King. I was quite impressed. Later, I ran into him, mask-off, at Café Envie and I told him “That was really cool, but you still didn’t play my favorite song ‘The King of the Faeries,’ do you not know it?” and Violin Monster looked around and over his shoulder, and then leaned over me and said in a hushed tone: “Oh I know it, but it’s bad luck to play that song. They say if you play it three times the Faery King himself will appear. So I don’t play that song anymore.” And then he smiled and walked away.
I don’t think Zach is just one of those performers who never breaks character, I think he’s actually summoned faeries by accident with his amazing music.
gryffindor: forehead kisses, brushing her hair out of her face, boxes of chocolates, making each other laugh, blanket forts, seeing her in your jacket and feeling your heart flip, attack hugs, stupidly competitive “i obviously let you win, babe” moments, flying together, serenading her even if your voice is awful, embarassing amounts of pda, linked arms, doodling hearts on your homework, making a huge deal out of her birthday just to make her feel special, fond eye-rolls, tickle fights, sharing a blanket in front of the fire, hugs that last forever, getting on with her friends, catching yourself staring at her, grand gestures to try and impres her, playing footsie under the table, sweaty palms when you hold hands
slytherin: matching tattoos, skipping class to make out, “i hate you less than other people”, inside jokes, stealing each others clothes and makeup, bed-sharing, lil bit of healthy possessiveness, love letters, “i’m so proud of you”s, hickeys, never shutting up about each other and annoying the hell out of everyone else, it couple, matching jewellery, fierce loyalty, little gifts for no reason, open flirting, knowing exactly how she likes her coffee, lip-biting, conversations at 3am, ironic pet names, your arm around her, stupid dance parties in your underwear, meeting her parents, singing her to sleep, feeling like you’re missing something when she’s not there, being able to communicate just by giving each other a look, calling her your girlfriend around other people
hufflepuff: nose kisses, playing with her hair as she lays in your lap, bringing her flowers, baking together and getting flour everywhere, cuddling, knowing when to say sorry, picnics, walking her to class even if it’s the opposite direction to where you’re going, blushing, binge-watching series together, hand-holding, knowing exactly how to cheer her up after a bad day, board games, making flower crowns, adopting a pet together, “i’m trying to be mad at you stop looking so cute”, sickeningly domestic, sleepy mornings lying in bed, playlists of songs that remind you of her, one drink two straws, cute petnames, “you hang up first”, realising she’s your best friend, insisting on carrying her books, laughing against each other’s mouths
ravenclaw: poetry, bringing her food/drinks when she’s studying, reading aloud to each other, pushing her glasses up her nose when they slide down, cafe dates, quiet nights in, walks in the woods holding hands, cheek kisses, curling up in one seat, soft love songs, the way your name sounds when she says it, talking for hours, smoothing away the frown between her eyebrows when she’s stressed, shoulder rubs, whispered “i love you”s, scheduled date nights, little notes slipped into books, total support, the feeling of being known, helping each other out, cooking meals for her, slow dancing, “this reminded me of you”, learning all her little quirks, the smell of her hair
persephone's corner 