S L Y T H E R I N “Or perhaps in Slytherin, you’ll make your real friends, these cunning folks use any means to achieve their ends.” (listen)
G R Y F F I N D O R “You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart, their daring, nerve, and chivalry, set Gryffindors apart;” (listen)
R A V E N C L A W “Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you’ve a ready mind, where those of wit and learning, will always find their kind;” (listen)
H U F F L E P U F F
“You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal, those patient Hufflepuffs are true, and unafraid of toil;” (listen)
books or movies? philoshopher’s stone or chamber of secrets? prisoner of azkaban, goblet of fire or half-blood prince? order of the phoenix or deathly hallows? slytherin or ravenclaw? gryffindor or hufflepuff? durmstrang or beauxbatons? chaser or beater? seeker or keeper?
harry potter au where dumbledore is replaced by ron swanson
“Son, did you or did you not place your name in this stupid fire cup?”
“Welcome back to school, children. This year, your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be this woman from the Ministry of Magic. Why the government is interfering in the affairs of a private institution is beyond me. If you have any complaints, please do not bring them to me. End of speech.”
I’ve been re-reading the HP books and I got to Prisoner of Azkaban (be still my beating heart, it is still the best one) and, at Christmas there’s only 12 people around the dinner table. Trelawny comes along and Dumbledore stands up to draw her a chair.
She freaks out, I must not! When 13 people dine together, the first to rise is the first to die!!!!!
Except.
Ron had Scabbers in his pocket.
Which means that there wasn’t 12 people when Trelawny arrived. There was already 13.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again since no-one has yet given me a valid reason as to why James Potter, lacking a wand, didn’t just transform into Prongs when Voldy turned up and like… fucking spear him. Why didn’t he do that? Like I don’t care how astonishingly powerful a dark wizard he was, no-one could ever be prepared for walking into a house and there’s just… a massive fuck off stag staring you down? How could you possibly react to that?
You couldn’t, giving said stag the opportunity to put an antler through his eye and save the day. Not to mention, can you imagine the Prophet headlines if that was how it’d gone down?
VOLDEMORT DEFEATED AT POTTER RESIDENCE DUE TO MYSTERIOUSLY SHAPED STAB WOUNDS
Witnesses say the so-called “Dark Lord” was surprisingly non-intimidating as he lay there full of holes, lacking a nose, and reeking of dog piss. James Potter was witnessed high-fiving best friend Sirius Black while wife Lily kicked the corpse.
THIS JUST IN: VOLDEMORT STAGGED IN THE FUCKING FACE
EXTRA: THE POTTER FAMILY HAVE A MAGNIFICENT GARDEN PARTY AND EVERY MEMBER OF THE WEASLEY FAMILY IS INVITED.
“WE ARE ALL ALIVE AND HAPPY” SAYS SIRIUS BLACK AND FRED WEASLEY
persephone's corner 