Terry after meeting his childhood favorite author.
Tag: crying
me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet
sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD
Why did I laugh so much
Why @lordjazor Wasn’t Consulted To Write The Prologue For ‘Beauty & The Beast’ ( x )
@moonstoneandjasmine I’M CRYING
deckerstar + texts
um?? no offense but when will a monster kidnap me and have me be the first loving touch it ever received like, wtf,,,im right here??? hot hands!!! two of em!!! fulla love!!!!!!!!
dumbledore: fuck yeah i got the resurrection stone!
dumbledore: oh shit, where can i hide it?
dumbledore: *sees a snitch that can only open if harry potter makes out with it*
dumbledore: there is no possible way this isn’t the best idea i’ve ever had
dropping a chandelier in the middle of an opera because someone sat in my unassigned assigned seat is the level of pettiness i aspire to achieve

Book Phantom is way more chill than Musical Phantom. Like he didn’t even drop the chandelier. It literally just fell and everyone was like “Its the Opera Ghost!” and he’s like what. i mean yes. that is absolutely a thing that i did. Because I am a ghost. who does mysterious things.
Mom: How is school going?
Me: Fine.
Patrick Warburton enters the room*
Patrick Warburton: In most situations the word ‘fine’ means ‘well’ or at least ‘good enough’. But as you, dear viewers, know school could not be further from ‘well’ or ‘good enough’. A selection of more appropriate words to use would be ‘dreadful’, ‘atrocious’, or ‘abominable’, a word which here means ‘dreadful or atrocious’.
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