klausgoldsteins:

damon-winchester:

OH Anon thank you for this question.

I think there’s this thing happening in a lot of fandoms in which self-involved, obnoxious female characters are mistaken for ‘strong independent women’ or  feminist characters. 

Tamlin is essentially brought in as what the fandom expects to be the stereotypical love interest, a sensitive guy with a dark side who some people hope the main character leaves for a bad boy because he’s a lil boring. And so, when the series takes a turn and he begins to show abusive tendencies AND is called out in the books for it, and since people are now attached to Feyre, he becomes this absolute villain because he represents the type of man that is actually well known in our own society. He is emotionally abusive, ignores the signs of the damage that has been done to Feyre and keeps her trapped inside so he can keep an eye on her. So many people can clearly see that this male character is the worst™. And interestingly you’ve mentioned that his abuse towards Feyre wasn’t intentional, and that makes me think of a post on tumblr that I can’t currently find, but the gist of it was “Rhys and Tamlin are different because Rhys was raised away from his toxic father”. So that pretty much answers Tamlin’s abuse for me, because he is emulating what he knows. It doesn’t excuse it, but it’s a big factor in his behaviour.

Now, onto Nesta. My favourite thing the fandom likes to do with Nesta is say “If Nesta was a man, people wouldn’t judge her like they do” – bullshit. Since the start, my complaint had been that if Nesta had been Nesto, she’d be hated. If it had been Feyre’s older brother who let his family starve out of spite towards their father and sent his sister out to hunt for them and spent her money, a man who belittled Feyre and dragged her down at every turn, who slut shamed Feyre and made her feel worthless, this fandom would hold the male counterpart of this character up there with Tamlin.  Feyre’s love story with Tamlin was toxic and terrible, but an important factor in the relationship is that Feyre didn’t know what love was supposed to feel like when she met Tamlin. She had never been loved, full stop. In fact, before Tamlin, Feyre’s dream was for Nesta and Elain to leave and to live with her father. At this point, a lot of the fandom will say that Nesta wasn’t abusive, but I’m someone who has 3 siblings who can sometimes be quite ‘cold’ (as some people describe Nesta), but I have never wished they werent there? 

Nesta began the series as a self-centred, bitter person who looked down upon poor villagers and felt entitled to every penny that Feyre earned. Throughout the series, she has remained that way. She only looks out for her own interests, belittles everyone around her, treats people as though they are dirt – hell, she’d fit in with the Autumn court quite well. And as I said earlier, a major problem in the fandom is that for some reason, Nesta’s trauma has given her get out of jail free card when it comes to how she treats other people. “It’s the way she copes, she’s empty inside” – so was Feyre at the start of the series. And, since certain stans think that people judge Nesta because of the sleeping around and drinking, again – bullshit. On a personal basis, one of my favourite female characters is Wynonna Earp. Wynonna has had a lot of trauma in her life, from accidentally killing her father as a child, to being forced to kill her elder sister in adulthood. She was committed into a psychiatric facility, and went from foster home to foster home. As a teen and in her adult hood, Wynonna has slept around and has been drinking away her sorrows for years. And yet, she doesn’t take it out on the people around her. Nesta, on the other hand, wants everyone to leave her alone and get out of her life- and yet she uses other people’s money to do what she is doing. To me, Nesta is a very Regina Mills type character – quick to insult others, has a woe is me complex (not as in she whines, but as in she takes anything that doesn’t suit her as an attack), and she is extremely self centred. 

Nesta is mistaken to be a strong female character, and I don’t see her appeal. She’s the epitome of fake girl power, and since SJM is now also propping her up, she’s getting even more popular. She is one of Feyre’s abusers, and I’m uninterested in reading more about her because of this

@persephonesdarkness !!!