Danielle Nierenberg, President of Food Tank, shares a sustainability pro-tip in honor of Earth Day. Instead of wasting leftover pasta water by pouring it down the sink, you can save it, let it cool and use it to water your plants. The starchy H2O will give them a beneficial nutrient boost and help them grow. Just be sure to avoid using cooking water that has been salted or seasoned.
i’m glad janet from Ohio can use this tip but the rest of us use salt and seasoning when making pasta, wtf
“if she eat the fruit, she a thot”, the Allmighty said
“all women are queensssss” the serpent hissed into Eve’s ear
HE saw that they had eaten the fruit. and so with divine fury, he cast them out of Paradise as HIS voice thundered across the planes
“This bitch sentient. YEET”
Jesus handed his disciples the cup with wine
“take a sip babes, for this is my blood”
as he cast samael the lightbringer out of heaven, the lord turned to his voice. metatron, this is so sad. play despacito
God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. Then said for all, but Noah and his family, “then perish”
And on the seventh day, God said: “It is Sunday, my dudes.”
And He told His followers about the Promised Land:
Moses commanded the red sea in the name of God, “Move, I’m gay.”
And the Lord spoke to his disciples, “Take, cronch. This is my body, given for you.” Then, lifting the wine, Jesus cracked open a cold one with the boys.
The blind man was made to see by Jesus’ hand, and he looked up in awe. “I’d like to thank not only God but also Jesus.”
The Pharaoh of Egypt would not relent, for he was the sand guardian, guardian of the sand, and the Israelites quivered before him.
Tied up and helpless, Samson’s wig was snatched.
On the third day, Jesus rose again. “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me.”
“PSA: here are the new Commandments, thank you for coming to my TED talk.”
“Um OP literally created the world and everything in it but go off I guess”
Witnessing Jesus walking on water, the disciples were in awe: “Oh, my God — He on x-games mode”
Jesus, bound to the cross, spoke thusly:
David: Bro I had a dream we fucked
Jonathan: Bro it’s just a dream
David: Gay, I wouldn’t fuck you
Jonathan: You wouldn’t?
David: I mean, unless you want to…
I’m pretty sure my soul was just damned to hell I laughed so hard at this I started crying
ok but what is your favorite movie????? the one that you can watch at any time and it just takes you to that special place…. like … you’re real favorite movie, not the movie you tell to impress people 😦 the one that you unashamedly love with all your heart and would prob watch on your final day
why come they called him “beast” in the castle when everyone knew his name cuz they’d been working for him forever anyway? like …. i would just be like “hey chewbacca-Adam” or some shit, there’s no reason to call him beast … id hide in my room all day too if my employees started making fun of me..
If my manager decided to pull some rude ass shit with a witch and got me living the next ten years of my life as an immortal singing toaster oven you can bet your ass I’d wake him up every goddamn morning with a flaming panini directly to the face. rise and shine, you ugly fuck, time hear a song
persephone's corner 